What is the definition of Officially Blood Cells?

"Officially, blood cells are the body's own little cellular powerhouses, tirelessly working to keep you alive, albeit in a slightly less-than-glamorous manner. They're basically the superheroes of your bloodstream, donning capes like 'Oxygen Mage' and 'Defender' for all your blood-related battles. But let's not forget the unsettling side: these cells are also the ones that might just be secretly plotting to turn you into a vampire, or at least make your skin glow like a fluorescent fish tank."

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Example sentence: "The new CEO's decision to downgrade the blood cell count in the boardroom was officially blood cells turning into vampires, but the HR department just couldn't handle the 'cellular transformation' metaphor."